INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP IN TA’ARUF COUPLE

Abstract

Marriage is something coveted in every relation. There are some ways of introducing to a
couple before the wedding. Ta’aruf couples through their introducing and also developing of
their relationship in a very short. So they didn’t know each other in a specific things.
Communication between ta’aruf couples also must go by a mediator. It causes for the
distortions messages in their communication. Besides information about the couple obtained
from the process of ta’aruf is also limited because of the intercommunication limits that must
be obeyed restrictions in accordance with islamic syariah.
The purpose of this research is to find the experience of the ta’aruf couples in undergo
the process at the communication time and knowing that occur in pairs of closeness in
relationships or intimate relationship. The used theories are Penetration Social Theory by
Irwin Altman Damask and Taylor and the Dialectics Relational Theory by Baxter and
Montgomery. To describe in detail to the development of intimate relationship in the ta’aruf
couples. This research is using qualitative methodology with the approach phenomenology.
Subject in this research is the newly married ta’aruf couples, with two or three months of
married using ta’aruf process.
Based on the results, ta’aruf became a means to know each other and get information
from each other to minimize uncertainty information between one another. The ta’aruf
couples began to minimize the uncertainly general information of themselves by exchange
their curriculum vitae who mediated by a mediator.
Trust, self disclosure, and responsibilities are becoming a key in relations developing
for a familiar intercourse between ta’aruf couples. In facing a conflict, a ta’aruf couple like to
discussing with a mediator to the conflict that appears. So it would not be a failed factor in
ta’aruf process.